Cooperative Co-Parenting For Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes

LMFT Aurisha Smolarski’s New Book Serves as Lifeline Along Co-Parenting Journey

New Harbinger to Publish Co-Parenting How-to on January 2, 2024 that Flips the Script on Divorce and Co-Parenting

Book Now Available for Pre-Sale

LOS ANGELES , Oct. 10, 2023 /PRNewswire/ — “As a licensed marriage and family therapist and divorced mom, Aurisha Smolarski knows how the bickering and battles of divorced parents can hurt a child. This book is co-parenting gold.” 
—Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® and author of Wired for Love and In Each Other’s Care  

FACT: Divorce rates in the United States remain higher than they were in the early 1970s. According to recent data, about 35-50% of first marriages end in divorce, while second marriages have a higher divorce rate of 60-70%.

FACT: A substantial number of divorces involve couples with children. 61% of the couples in which both the husband and wife are divorcing from a first marriage have children under 18 years of age. 

These statistics seem to indicate: everyone is doing it (getting divorced and co-parenting)! But do they know how to get divorced and co-parent?

Against this backdrop, misconceptions about parenting and co-parenting abound: some believe it’s better for the child for one and one’s partner to stay together, no matter what, that divorce is somehow more stressful for children than living in a household with constant strife. Another misconception is more general in nature, but is pervasive nonetheless: that divorce is somehow a dishonorable choice, that one has personally failed and that being a single parent is somehow a tragic outcome where one’s child will be irreparably disadvantaged, their grades will suffer and so on.

Perhaps the better question for real-life families who have separated and are co-parenting is: how do you create a structure that actually helps kids? With this in mind, a new book by licensed marriage and family therapist Aurisha Smolarski seeks to change the narrative on divorce and co-parentingCooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes.

“Aurisha Smolarski’s book is a revelation. This isn’t just a guide, but a lifeline, turning the daunting task of co-parenting into an attainable harmony. A must-read for restructured families seeking stability.”
Susan Guthrie, US Family Law and Mediation Attorney in the United States, Podcast host of Divorce and Beyond.

Not only does Smolarski have extensive clinical familiarity assisting couples who have decided to divorce or separate, she has been through the experience herself, having divorced her ex-husband, with whom she co-parents their school-age daughter.

“I want to shift the narrative on divorce and raising children in two homes, and to demystify the process of creating a secure environment where children can thrive,” notes Smolarski, adding “flipping the script on divorce, I help co-parents divorce well, so it doesn’t have to cause lasting trauma for the kids.”

Smolarski’s approach is based on “attachment theory” as originally described by John Bowlby in the late 60’s.  Secure attachment refers to the formation of a relationship between a parent and young child that gives the child a stable and secure basis from which to navigate life going forward. A child who has this kind of secure base can weather the storms of adversity—such as the changes that come with separation—much more easily than a child who doesn’t.

With that fundamental orientation in place, Smolarski’s book next explores the principles of engagement that the author helpfully terms “the 6 Cs of Cooperative Co-parenting”: commitment, collaboration, clarity, consistency, connection and community. Each successive chapter focuses on one of these principles and what its application can mean for the new family arrangement and its dynamics. Through actionable tips and strategies, Smolarski provides the framework co-parents need to create as secure foundation for their child in two homes.

Throughout, Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids employs scenarios composed of fictitious co-parents and a child in realistic interactions that arise in families undergoing separation or divorce, highlighting both ideal and less-than-ideal exchanges – all ringing true-to-life and unmistakably human.

“Smolarski re-frames co-parenting in the most empathic and eye-opening way and gives parents a personal roadmap to a secure and healthy relationship with their kids and themselves. It’s a must read!”  Heather Turgeon, psychotherapist and co-author of The Happy Sleeper. 

Indeed, the humanity, empathy and compassion with which Smolarski describes – and prescribes – the challenges and solutions in co-parenting are hallmarks of her approach and will be welcomed by affected families and helping professionals alike.

The Story Behind The Book:

Aurisha Smolarski is available for interviews. To arrange, please contact Rita Hollingsworth via email at


To pre-order Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes, please visit:

Publisher: New Harbinger
Publication Date: January 2, 2024
Length: 192 pages ISBN: 1648481841

Media Contact:
Rita Hollingsworth

SOURCE Aurisha Smolarski